Bond’s Martini is seriously shaken in this spoof of the famous James Bond stories.
In spite of the stifling heat of the upstairs ‘theatre’ in The Camden Head public house, this new comedy by erstwhile Financial Times journalist, Lyndsey Jones, was a resounding success. The story comprises the long lost daughter of spy, James Bond, who embarks on a half-hearted search to find the man who loved her mother; or perhaps she may just cut her losses and go shopping instead! Like her famous father, Bond embarks on a dangerous mission to save the world from evil villain Franken von Banken and her henchwoman Menopausal Ninja. Martini’s ‘bond girl’ Suzi Bazooki faithfully follows Martini on her mission to break Banken’s silence and reveal the secret of her activity with villainous DNA and the god particle. Unlike James, Martini does not embark on sexual adventures with any of her co-stars; this is a woman on a mission who is not sidetracked by the opposite sex; the difference, arguably, between a woman and a man. Her focus remains solely on the mission in hand suggesting that the female gender is far more likely to achieve her goal than a sex-obsessed, chauvinistic male.
It would be easy to suggest that Jones is encouraging the use of outdated female stereotypes; Martini searching for the father figure in her life as though she is not complete without him; Menopausal Ninja; the very word menopause suggesting an older, irate, irrational woman, but in fact what Jones’s play does exactly the opposite. Bond’s image is shattered as Martini shows that a ponytail-shaking, attractive female can face adversity and conquer evil just as well as a man, even if she cannot drive! Surely one of the last female taboos is the menopause, yet Jones brings this condition to the fore shattering images of an embittered, sexless and unstable ‘lady of a certain age, so often seen in Disney characters.’ Ninja is not irate, she’s not irrational; she’s ironic, she’s interesting and most of all she’s funny; it works! Jones also tackles the very relevant question of the consequences of James Bond’s womanising. The woman he impregnates is literally left holding the baby whilst he ‘gets off’ scot free. Martini’s ‘couldn’t care less if she finds her father’ mirrors her father’s equally ‘couldn’t care less if I father a child’ attitude.
Hilarious references and to the titles of Bond movies had the audience groaning in unison winning myriad fans for this excellent female Bond. The gags were well placed and cheekily served with hints of smiles, seductive sideways glances, unimaginable in a male Bond, and the idea that the actors were having great fun in this performance in spite of sweating like sauna cleaners in boiler suits. It is said, usually by men, that women do not make good comedy actresses as they are afraid to make fools of themselves, however, this could not be further from the truth as far as lead actress Clare Jones is concerned. She delivered her rendition of Martini Bond with absolutely the right dose of enthusiasm, side-splitting humour and robust vigour, enhanced by the attractive(!) orange hi-visibility jacket, worn by Jones with such aplomb; this lady is no fool. The ‘props man’ gave such a side-splitting rendition of a bottom-thumpingly accurate speed boat ride that the reality of the tightly packed, heat-stricken room was momentarily forgotten as the audience was transported to the open sea. One could almost feel the wind in one’s hair.
Julia Collier was excellent as Miss Pennypincher and Franken von Banken, changing her persona as easily as most people change their underwear; unlike Miss Moneypenny, Collier’s Pennypincher was neither phased by nor attracted to any of the male characters, this was one lady who was remaining firmly on her feet. James Edenborough well cast as bumbling ‘B&Q’ head of small arms and gadgets, clearly working with very limited resources in bleak, austerity ridden Britain. Juliet Holding had the tough job of changing from seductive bond girl to Banken’s henchwoman to ‘M25’ head of MI6. Whilst her acting was excellent the toughness of her job was reflected in her soft-voiced delivery making it difficult to hear her against myriad whirring fans. Given this was the first night, always tough in theatreland, Holding no doubt will raise her game in subsequent performances, and as the weather cools she will no longer need to be fighting the fans; well not the electric ones anyway. Each changeover to the next scene was a slick as could be expected in a tightly packed first floor pub room. There was never too much space between the scenes to induce either boredom or the losing of the plot. This is a play well worth seeing; to coin a phrase ‘an hour is not enough,’ this is a play which can and should be given full on theatre treatment. Extra props and more room to do the job would see this play develop beautifully. Well done Jones, we look forward to the next one!
Martini Bond: the hunt for the spy who loved her mum can be seen next at The Broadway theatre, Barking, from September 20th to 23rd, 9.15pm. Tickets cost £7.50 or £12 for a two show deal, which also includes the premiere of London Ballet Company's 00 and His 7. Martini Bond will also be live streamed online: tickets cost £2.99.
To book, go online to: http://www.thebroadwaybarking.com/event/bond-week-martini-bond-the-hunt-for-the- spy-who-loved-her-mum/ or call 020 8507 5607.
To book, go online to: http://www.thebroadwaybarking.com/event/bond-week-martini-bond-the-hunt-for-the- spy-who-loved-her-mum/ or call 020 8507 5607.
